Hesitation
by modernxxmyth
Summary: Do you love her more than me? It's funny how tequila can bring out the honesty in people. MarkCallie. Hints of MarkLexie and CallieArizona. Mallie. One-shot.


**Hesitation**

_Whoops I think I got too close  
'Cause now he's telling me I'm the girl that he likes most  
Now I'm messed up  
It's not the first time_

_I'm not in love  
I just want to be touched_

_-"Pumpkin Soup" by Kate Nash  
_

---

Someone was knocking on the front door, Mark registered hazily through the fog of sleep. Why was someone knocking on the door? He checked the clock next to his bed that he shared with Lexie – it was just past 3:00 AM.

He decided to ignore it. Whatever it was could wait until a reasonable hour.

The banging started. It wasn't just knocking anymore. It was full-on banging, creating a huge ruckus on his door step. He groaned and the noise level.

"What the hell is that?" Lexie muttered, still half asleep.

Mark sighed and stroked her hair. "I'll take care of whatever it is."

He got out of bed, clad in boxers and nothing else and answered the door unashamedly.

A sobbing Callie Torres immediately launched herself into his arms.

Mark blinked the sleep from his eyes slowly and registered what happened.

"Callie?" He took in her appearance – black hair matted and disheveled, tank top wrinkled, black boy shorts bunched up on her muscular thighs.

"Callie, what happened?"

Mark struggled to decipher her words through the sobs. "She left me. Arizona – she left me."

Mark smoothed her hair. "Come here, sit down."

She clung to his chest as they sat on the couch, still crying inconsolably.

He tightened his hold on her. "Tell Mark what happened."

"My dad," she cried. "My dad happened. Arizona couldn't handle it. She made him see reason for a while, but one trip to Mass, and he's back to his old ways. He stopped seeing reason. He stopped supporting me, and I kind of flipped. I got pissed and emotional and cried, and Arizona decided she couldn't handle it."

Mark made a mental note to smack Arizona. Normally he didn't hit women, but he would have to make an exception in her case.

Mark grabbed Callie's hand. "If that's true, Callie, then she certainly doesn't deserve you. You're wonderful. You're _so_ wonderful. You're quirky in all the best ways, you're fiery, and you're funny. You're _ridiculously_ sexy. If she can't see how wonderful you are, then she certainly doesn't deserve you. You're amazing, Callie Torres. Got that? Amazing."

Callie sniffled and pulled her head away from Mark's chest. She smirked slightly through the tears. "Where the hell did that come from? Honestly, Mark, tell me how you _really_ feel."

Mark rolled his eyes. "I can be supportive when I want to be."

Callie nodded in agreement. "I can tell."

Mark stroked her frazzled hair in response. "She's a bitch," he decided.

"Thank you for hating her with me," Callie whispered.

"Anytime, sweetheart."

He slept on the couch with her that night and never went back to bed to his girlfriend.

* * *

"Do you love her more than me?"

Mark and Lexie were walking down the halls of the hospital hand in hand, when suddenly Lexie pulled away to speak.

"Wait…" said Mark. "What? Lexie…what are you talking about?"

"I asked you," Lexie continued, "Do you love her more than me?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"You didn't come back to bed last night."

"So? Lexie, you know I was just trying to be there for my friend!"

"I know you were, Mark. Rationally, I know that's all it was. But what if it wasn't? All those things you said to her - I heard them. I know, they were to cheer her up. They were true, even. But can you swear to me that you don't have feelings for her anymore? I know you guys used to have a thing…"

"Lexie. Don't be ridiculous. You're my _girlfriend._ You hear that? _Girlfriend!_ I committed to you. Callie is my best friend, not the one I'm in a relationship with."

"Who is more important to you?" she asked.

"Are you serious, Little Grey?" He ignored her eye roll and continued, "Are you really trying to get me to make that choice?"

"I just need to know, Mark, or it's going to drive me crazy! Do you love her more than me?"

"You're being irrational, Lexie."

"If I'm so irrational, then why won't you answer my question?"

Mark paused. Not for a long time, but the pause was noticeable. He grabbed her hand. "I love you more, Lexie. Okay? I love you more. Of course I do. You know I want to be with you."

Lexie's voice broke, "You hesitated."

"I didn't hesitate!"

"You hesitated. First you won't answer, then you hesitate when I finally make you respond. I…" She breathed out slowly. "I can't be with you anymore."

"What?" Mark shouted, startling a few nurses. "Lexie, I love you!"

"I don't doubt that," she replied.

"Then what is the problem?"

Lexie responded simply, "I just doubt that you love me more than her."

She pulled her hand from Mark's grasp and walked away.

* * *

This time it was Mark at Callie's door doing the crying.

Callie had to hide her visible shock at the sight of Mark crying. Mark Sloan himself, breaking down before her eyes.

"She left me," Mark echoed Callie's sentiments from the night prior.

Callie ushered him over to the couch. "I'm so sorry. What happened?" The shock from her was palpable. Lexie had been the one to tame the man whore – she wasn't expecting a break up.

"She says…" Mark sighed and began to calm down. "'She said that I love you more than I love her."

Callie gasped. "Oh, god, Mark…do you want me to talk to her? I'm so sorry."

Mark shook his head mutely.

"Are you sure?"

His response was the same.

Callie held his hand, and the pair sat in silence for a moment in time.

"What if she's right?"

Mark's question hung in the air, and Callie pulled her hand away.

"Mark…what?"

"Hear me out," Mark requested. "What if I will never make any other relationship work because I will never love them as much as I love you?"

"Stop being crazy, Mark."

"Don't tell me to stop being crazy. I'm serious, Callie. What if it's true?"

"Well," Callie began, "in what way do you love me?"

"You're my best friend!"

"Yes," Callie said slowly. "But is that all? Am I anything more to you?"

Mark hesitated. "Sometimes…sometimes I let myself think what if."

Callie was silent. She grabbed his hand again, and they did not speak anymore. They slept until morning, this time on Callie's couch instead of his.

* * *

"Let's get drunk," Callie stated with a bluntness that made Mark grin. They hadn't talked about their conversation a week prior, but neither had forgotten.

They set out to Callie's place with a bottle of tequila for them to share, sitting cross-legged on the floor of her living room, the dull light of the television blinking the background. The liquid burned their throats as they passed it back and forth in almost rhythmical silence. The warmth gathered in their chests and bellies, and they kept drinking. They drank to lost relationships. They drank to surgery. They drank to friendship, and they drank to each other. They drank until suddenly it was each other they were drinking.

Mark's tongue was down her throat, and Callie's shirt was inching upwards and upwards. Kisses were pressed to Callie's stomach, and suddenly the shirt was off. They both gave into the lust that had built over the months they weren't fucking. They both decided at that moment that there should never be another time when they weren't fucking – all decided as Mark bucked his hips and sank his teeth into her neck. Callie bit her lip until it bled bright red and scratched her finger nails up and down his back. He grasped and pulled her hair and circles and bucked his hips again until they were both satisfied and spent.

"What if she's right?" Mark asked Callie again as he grabbed a blanket off the couch and pulled it over them to their spot on the floor.

"We let her be right," Callie replied lazily. She kissed Mark hard on the lips.

"Okay," he responded with a fluid ease.

"Okay," she echoed with a smile.

They were pleasantly late to work the next morning.

Fin

* * *

Interestingly, I adore Mark and Lexie together. I think they are fantastic and my favorite current couple on the show. I also love Callie with Arizona, though I don't see it lasting quite as long. However, at the end of the day, I really want Callie and Mark. Together. I think they just fit. Both I love all three pairings. And randomly for the record, I felt super awesome because I definitely wrote this whole thing while sipping coffee in a coffee shop. Just saying.

Review! It brightens my day so much, you have no idea. I adore seeing those email notifications.


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